we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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