Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Betty ford says i'm here all night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
