Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
