oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
