DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
