You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am one with the molecules
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
