I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
did you just send me my own nude
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
