I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
