When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
