Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You need a sexual gate keeper
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
