i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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