You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
