This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
