I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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