You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
