Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
