she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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