he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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