Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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