i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
