so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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