Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can text with my tongue
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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