I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What a dumb baby whore.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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