Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A bitchslap is in order.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
