I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
