Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
