we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
