You really coming over, don't trick.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
