it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
