I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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