Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
