so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
this is an emotional support booty call
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
