I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
