Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
