you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
