I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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