I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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