what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
