i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
worst night to have a conscience
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
