first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
