so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
