Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
