I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
