You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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