"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
