This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
