I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
