She's JV to your varsity
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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