And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
