just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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