you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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