like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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