I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
