So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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