just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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