There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
