fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize