i just wanna soil my oats bro
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there is puke in my bra ... again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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