Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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