I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Two words: nipple clamps
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