hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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