my mouth tastes like poor choices
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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