I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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