Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
