The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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