Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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