I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
