A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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