then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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