Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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