none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Everything about him screamed your future.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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