There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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