At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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