Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
