can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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